I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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