I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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