Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize