It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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