He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
