Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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