yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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