:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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