I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
