OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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