Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
