that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
