We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
