yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
