Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
