haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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