Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He felt like a one man threesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
