I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
