No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
