so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
