Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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