Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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