New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
