I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
