More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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