Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
