:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
