he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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