I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
