Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
