I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
