Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
