Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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