so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
