I am spending my child support on dildos
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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