What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
