I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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