I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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