I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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