I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am midnight drunk by noon
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i believe in u and ur pee
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