if i can run in heels then i can drive
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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