Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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