I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
