What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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