Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
