Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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