I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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