Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
