at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
