she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You need Xanax blowdarts
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30ās with a 21 year old dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
