I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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