I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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