just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
