Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
