My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
