I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Everything about him screamed your future.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
