So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
