Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I did not marry a roomba.
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