I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
