Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
