FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
