I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
